The Way We Love
A New Year and Valentine’s Day upon us, instead of thinking of a new “love,” let’s contemplate the WAY WE LOVE. Whether romantic, familial, friendship, or beyond, let’s improve how we love one another by connecting to the love within ourselves — the direct messenger of love, our soul! Then, and only then, can one experience REAL LOVE with and for another.
What motivates us to get out of bed each day? Love, undoubtedly, and in all its varying forms — adoration, affection, affirmation, consolation, acceptance, understanding, forgiveness, giving, receiving, and more — driving us more than any other desire. Being loved by others is the marker of success, the proof of our worth, the end all be all, or so it often seems.
Before motherhood, my concept of “LOVE” was limited to that shared in a romantic relationship. Two individuals, each with layers of pre-conditioned beliefs, fears, judgments, and expectations, desperately trying to get and ultimately “stay on the same page.” Here, love is earned, rather than innate. Love, a prize, if you did everything “right.”
The realization of “unconditional” love came later. Bumps and falls, hopes and gains, successes and triumphs, broken bones and pains, trauma and addiction reared their ugly heads, over and over again in what felt like a everlasting search for love, outside me. That is, until I found it within me.
It felt like a “home” within, the kind I’d always longed for — always warm, safe, and free. A fluid, organic existence never hinging on meeting expectations or pleasing opinions. A love that just loves — universal, infinite, unchangeable, originating from the initial spark that started it all.
Only my soul can give this genuine unconditional love — I learned that the hard way. Nothing and no one outside me has that power, nor should I ever believe so. Tragic? No. Because therein lays a rare gift — with soul love one gains the ability to give REAL love in human form!
Yep, the kind with hugs and kisses, flowers and cards, Valentines and more. That romantic first type, but when done this way, there’s much less risk of harm to one’s heart.
Without a connection to one’s soul, human love is as conditional and fragile as the mind itself, subject to constant fluctuations, moods, interpretations, and illusions. Real love isn’t. It’s more stable and sane, because it is made of mind, body, AND spirit, thus guided by the soul’s interpretations of such things.
My journey has shown that having a relationship with the soul elevates human love closer to unconditional love, creating a love that is less susceptible to the mind’s fears and judgments — and more REAL LOVE.
When the mind says “should’ve” or “shouldn’t have,” the soul says “I love you, so give love to them,” no matter what, whether together or apart. When the mind says that was “wrong” or this was “right,” the soul guides us to understand the “why” — charging human connection, understanding, solution, and more. The soul helps us see a partner is doing the best they can with what they know and have, gently informing us to stay or leave, gracefully.
Let’s strive to offer real love to those we cherish, transcending mere acquisition of human love and affirmation.
Real love, in my view, involves:
- Fostering a connection with one’s soul.
- Appreciating fulfilled expectations without passing judgment.
- Identifying a person’s core wounds with empathy.
- Openly sharing thoughts and feelings.
- Recognizing the core innocence in others.
- Listening fully before drawing conclusions.
- Cultivating honesty, understanding, and healing.
If you’re with someone connected to their soul, cherish their healing journey. Love thrives on commitment, even in challenging times.
For those in relationships lacking soulful connection, be prepared for a love as vulnerable and uncertain as the ever-changing mind.
My game plan? Giving real love, always. Receiving it? That’s up to my soul, and what it draws in from the universe. I trust that the LOVE within me, securely known, regularly nurtured, and gracefully given, will continue to manifest through the blessings I’ve already received as a mother, friend, and future partner today.