Finding Pockets of Sunshine
When life shatters, where do we turn? Sitting with Dr. Monica Krishnan on Home Is Within You reminded me of the ways grief and shame can shape us, and how healing begins when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
Dr. Monica shared her story of losing her husband to cancer, becoming a solo parent to two young daughters, and silently carrying the weight of high-functioning depression. As I listened, I could feel the depth of her pain and the strength it took for her to speak it out loud.
She told me how shame made her feel “unworthy” and “not enough,” especially around her mental health. As a clinical pharmacist, she felt guilty about needing antidepressants herself. Yet, choosing medication was the very step that opened a new chapter of healing. I loved when she described it this way: “I started to feel pockets of sunshine.” Those words later became the title of her beautiful children’s book.
What struck me most was how she spoke about safety. Healing happens when we feel safe enough to say, “I am struggling.” It is in that moment of courage that our hearts begin to open. I felt it deeply because I know that struggle myself. It takes bravery to share your tears and your truth, but it is in that vulnerability that connection and light enter.
Her reminder to all of us was simple but powerful: Your story matters. Your vulnerability is your superpower. Your tears are acts of bravery.
As I reflect on our conversation, I am reminded that healing is not about bypassing the pain. It is about noticing the small “pockets of sunshine” that appear along the way—moments of love, resilience, and openness. When we create the safety to feel, those rays of light guide us forward.
Takeaway: You are worthy. You are enough. And you do not have to walk through grief and shame alone. There is always light to be found, even in the darkest storms.
Interview with Dr. Monica
Nadia Davis: Dr. Monica, welcome back. How is your heart today?
Dr. Monica: My heart feels open and grounded. There’s a lot of sadness in the world, but being around high-vibrational souls helps me stay connected to love and gratitude.
Nadia: You’ve walked through unimaginable grief, losing your husband at such a young age. How did that loss shape your journey?
Dr. Monica: I lost my husband in 2011 to a rare form of cancer. Suddenly, I was a solo parent to two little girls, only three and five years old. For years, I battled high-functioning depression and shame—shame about my mental health, shame about being a widow, shame about not being “enough.” It took me seven years before I realized I needed to seek help.
Nadia: How did shame show up for you physically and emotionally?
Dr. Monica: I often felt a pit in my stomach, like I was moving through life as a zombie in survival mode. I was disconnected from my sense of safety and from my “home within.” My energy was low, and I felt unsafe in my own body and in the world around me.
Nadia: What shifted for you?
Dr. Monica: I reached a point where I told my doctor, “I feel stuck and numb.” She suggested antidepressants. As a pharmacist myself, I initially resisted. I felt ashamed to need what I was prescribing for others. But once I started, I noticed something beautiful. When asked how I felt, I said, “I’m starting to feel pockets of sunshine.” That phrase later became the title of my children’s book.
Nadia: That’s powerful. What would you say to someone who feels shame about seeking help?
Dr. Monica: Mental health care is not weakness—it’s medicine for the soul. Just as we take medication for our heart or skin, it’s okay to take what we need for depression or anxiety. Shame convinces us we’re unworthy, but when we ban shame, we create space for healing and light.
Nadia: You’ve spoken about safety being an important part of healing. Can you expand on that?
Dr. Monica: Healing begins with safety—feeling safe to share, safe to feel, safe to be vulnerable. For me, finding a supportive community gave me that belonging. My daughters and I talk openly about grief and mental health. Sometimes I even encourage them to take a mental health day, just as we would for a physical illness. That openness creates safety in our home.
Nadia: Your book Finding Pockets of Sunshine is a children’s book, but really, it’s for all ages. Why did you write it?
Dr. Monica: During a silent retreat, the story just downloaded into me. I wanted to create a book that was multicultural, multigenerational, and universal in its message. My main character, Anisha, represents love, hope, and resilience—the light that we all carry inside us. The story shows that even after deep loss, we can find small moments of sunshine through love, family, community, and nature.
Nadia: How has your healing journey changed how you experience challenges today?
Dr. Monica: I celebrate myself more. I even high-five myself in the mirror, thanks to Mel Robbins! On the hardest days, I remind myself that vulnerability is a superpower, not a weakness. My meditation and mindfulness practice keep me grounded, and I see that resilience reflected in my daughters too.
Nadia: What’s next for you?
Dr. Monica: I’m taking my advocacy and public speaking to the next level. I’ve been sharing my story at conferences and companies, and I want to continue inspiring others to ban shame and embrace all the tools of healing. At the same time, I’m also learning to pause, slow down, and celebrate the present moment.
Nadia: Beautiful. Any final words for our listeners?
Dr. Monica: You are worthy. You are enough. Don’t let shame define you. Celebrate yourself, even on the hard days, and remember—you can always find pockets of sunshine.