Red Flags, How to Spot 'Em, and Stop Ignoring Them

In this episode, Dr. Steve lays out the brutal truth, then empowers us with details to walk away with. “It gets down to the need to be needed,” he says. When unaware of this shame-driven emotion, reflags are ignored, and we so often become the target of another’s shame and blame game. He gives helpful lists of red flags, such as love bombing, disrespecting others, blaming, never owning one’s part, punishment, ghosting, triangulation, getting grilled about past relationships. “That’s not companionship. That’s a straight-jacket.”

Mutual respect, on the other hand, has ground rules that are respected. These are green flags, and include acceptance of each’s problems, kindness, privacy, the ability to forgive, healthy introspection, and direct communication. This is a short powerful episode for anyone who has experienced the painful interplay of shame in an unhealthy relationship. After listening to this, you will no longer repeat that pattern!

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Trigger Warning- This podcast contains content that might be difficult to hear. There are references to specific experiences with PTSD, physical and mental abuse, as well as shame. Please be aware that some people may be triggered.

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